3 Golden Rules for Friends of Caregivers

1)Really listen to what they have to say. The truth is caregivers rarely expect others to solve their problems, but they need to vent their frustration and feelings from time to time. Respond during conversations with short comments to assure them that you are engaged and really do care. Pretending to listen rarely fools anyone. If you want to be a true friend, listen attentively and truly just be with them in the moment.

2)Don’t be judgmental.

Don’t second guess the caregiver’s decisions. Save your nursing home horror stories for someone who won’t be so emotionally affected by them. Refrain from sharing how you really feel about them quitting their job to provide unpaid care. You probably aren’t aware of all the details of their situation, and criticism isn’t helpful.

3)Don’t create more work for them.

Avoid doing anything that adds more to a caregiver’s already full plate. Be considerate and realistic when exploring ways to lift their spirits. Showing up unannounced is strongly discouraged as caregivers are often running on a tight schedule. Also, understand that if you say you are coming over for an impromptu visit, no matter how many times you say they should not go to any trouble, they will probably still feel pressured to prepare for company. This advice is not meant to discourage visits and other social interactions in anyway. Just be sure to ask when would be convenient and give plenty of prior notice.